Episode 2: In college I’m working in the tutoring center. A young lady enters and says, “I need help. But not from some nigger off the street like her.” I was the only black person in the room. I stand up. The room freezes. She runs out.
Episode 3: In an upper level English class my professor explains how African drummers were too stupid to use a stick to play the drums, so they use their hands. He chuckles at his own comments. The class is silent. He realizes its the wrong crowd.
Episode 4: After visiting some acquaintances, with NO conversation of politics, a man feels the need to tell me that President Obama is muslim, a liar and he is the worst thing that ever happened to our country.
Episode 5: We visited a predominantly white church and though it is packed to capacity the row where we chose to sit remained empty because no one would sit next to my family.
This is my experience in America. This is not a history book. There were no white hooded men burning crosses. There was no Jim Crow to uphold this wrong. But it happened.
The hatred that I’ve read, heard, lived and experienced is real. It’s hard. It’s hurtful. It’s hateful. It’s here. This is my reality. I feel it when I offer a comment that is discounted or ignored, then a white male counterpart says THE SAME THING and it is honored and celebrated and revered.
My skin color makes me mute to some. My skin color makes me repulsive to others. A bitch. A nigger off the street. A threat. A fool. A fear. A waste.
But the blessing for me is that these opinions don’t make me - don’t make a majority, don’t make my heart hard, don’t make me hate. Instead, I choose love. I choose forgiveness. I choose, “Loving my neighbor even if they don’t love me.”
My prayer: Don’t define a person by their skin color. Examine your beliefs. Don’t resort to calling names. Don’t let fear keep you in a bubble. Live love and live loved!
Love makes a difference to those who are different. Love makes a friend. Love lets the guard down, the stranger in, the words be soft, the heart be softer.
Love never fails.
Jesus left these words for times when I wanted to fight back, punch, scream, kick, reflect the mirror of ugly I received. He gave me these words and I give them to you:
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. — Jn 13:34
I want my life to be marked by my love, even when I have been hated, insulted and hurt. I want love to define me, not defense. I want love to be my character, my motto, my road, my light, my life.
Love over everthing!
Thank you for reading. I would love to read your comments below.