It makes sense to me. Blurred vision becoming clear.
Sometimes I have dreams and when I wake up I recap the whole thing. The details, as strange as they may be, replay in my head. Movie – like. Vivid. Real. I usually recount the details while asking questions. Why did that happen? Who is that person? What did that mean? And before I swing my legs off the bed and the soles of my feet hit the floor I am paralyzed with an interpretation.
God floods me with the meaning of one part of the dream, then another part. I usually tell the details of the dream to my husband and then I write it down. I record the dream – every detail. I write down what it made me think of. I write down the sights and the smells. I write it down and it plays back to me. I try hard to make my mind grasp onto what cannot be held. Disturbed, I know I cannot dwell on the parts I don’t understand. What I don’t record, I will lose. Sometimes forever.
Have you ever had a vivid image, perhaps a memory or a daydream that seemed so real, so colorful, so beautiful or so scary – but you just couldn’t figure out the message. I have had many dreams like that. I have had aching longings in my heart to chase after this dream of writing. Some dreams I could grasp, others slipped away. Vaporized. Disappeared.
I would think of things to write. Read books over and over and let my mind hug the thought of writing one of my own. I would pray for my readers, even before I knew what I was going to write for them. I’ve imagined their faces. I’ve seen their tears. I’ve allowed God to show me my purpose even before it came to pass. I saw the dream, but I was awakened by the discouragement of reality. The writer’s block. The rejection letter. The time that doesn’t make time for the dream.
The romance of writing will never die, because I accept that it is what I was called to do. It’s like a vivid dream that I have awakened from, and God has instructed me to keep on dreaming. It is a never ending floating free fall – met with joy in the dizzying adventure. And my soul sings through these words. My heart dances at the chance of communicating this way. What I’ve learned on this journey is this:
1. It doesn’t matter if I have no readers – I am a writer.
2. I love God’s gift to me so much that I will value Him by glorifying Him this way.
3. Everything I have ever experienced qualifies me to tell you about it.
4. Where my experience ends, imagination begins.
5. I love when experience and imagination collide.
6. Doing what I love is a vivid, colorful, sweet smelling song drawn out with love-letters.
God called me to do this, it took me far too long to call myself – a writer. Today it makes sense to me. I am embracing the blurry clearness of this journey. I see what I am supposed to. I remember what I hold on to . I’m telling you – that your eyes reading this – just made a dream of mine come true.
I truly appreciate you reading this. Please subscribe to this blog. Leave a comment below telling us what your dream is.