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Single but… Being Pursued (Part 2)

So maybe you are single by choice.  Maybe there are men pursuing you so you feel like you have the upper hand.  Talking with my husband about the last blog post Single but…Looking  (if you missed it click here to read it)  he pointed out a few things to me that I think will be helpful to single women who are currently being pursued by men.  

1. Who is after you? The “hunter” or the “farmer”

I know you are thinking “Hunters and farmers are not exactly the kind of guys I’m looking for.”  Well just hang with this metaphor for just a little while because they ARE looking for you! How can you tell the difference?  The hunter is in it for the thrill of the catch.  He has a specified time before he moves on  to the next pursuit.  He is hunting for sport, for appetite, or for perceived survival – but to meet his need he gladly devours the catch.  The hunter plots in secrecy and hides to catch his prey.  He can sometimes be patient to get what he wants, but if there is no chance of a catch – it’s on to the next.  Only the hunter wins when he gets what he wants.  The feelings, security or well being of the prey are not considered or desired.  

The farmer knows that to cultivate the prize it takes time.  He takes time to build up the ground to prepare for the seed.  He provides nourishment for growth, and water for refreshment.  Farming is a lifestyle built on transparency.  Everything the farmer does is out in the open.  In order to get his prize he works daily, building up, tearing weeds away, protecting from predators, and monitoring growth.   He does not hide, and he cannot move on from the prize because he loses and so does the crop.  With the farmer, the crop is better and with the crop the farmer is better.  There is mutual accountability – mutual gain -not just a one way sacrifice.  

2. Are you the prey or the prize? 

Just because you have men “coming after you” doesn’t mean that you are the prize.  Let me also say, sometimes you don’t have men coming after you because you are not easy prey!  Rejoice in that!  Men hunt like the animal kingdom.  The first ones to get pursued are the slowest, weakest, and easiest to catch.  The sure kill is hunted first.  So if you are spiritually weak, have no standards, seem wounded and project the “need” for anybody’s company – I’m sure hunters are coming out of the wood works. Hunters can spot easy prey from anywhere.  Sometimes hunters disguise themselves as farmers with patience while they are plotting for the kill.  This is where discernment comes in.  The Holy Spirit can tell the difference, even when we can’t.  Trust the nudge.  

 The farmer wants to see His prize grow, so He will push you to accomplish things you never thought were possible.  He will care for you as you grow and help prune away habits that have been holding you back for years.  When you are the prize you become the resourceful Proverbs 31 woman who makes sure that everyone around her prospers.  You don’t wait to see if you are the winner or not, because you know that regardless of the circumstance that you have kingdom value.    Prize women hear from God to define who they are.  They hear from God to determine what they want.  Prize women only allow themselves to be pursued by farmers.  They mutually add value to one another.  (Hint if he is only detracting value from you, then he probably bringing much to the table spiritually and mentally.) 

3. Who are you inviting to the chase? 

The Bible says in Matthew 7:6  “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHERE YOU CAST YOUR PEARLS!  Don’t mistake the hunt for courtship.  Don’t excuse away a hunter’s reveal and try to force it into a farmer’s framework.  Can a hunter become a farmer?  Absolutely!  But not because a woman will make that change.  It is a heart change that comes from God alone.  You have some options.  Being a prize invites farmers.  Being prey invites hunters.  Who are you inviting to pursue your heart?  The stakes are high!   

When you are the prize it is not the pursuit that determines your value.  When you are the prize your standards won’t be pushed or compromised.  They will be encouraged and cultivated.  When you are the prize he will build you up daily in the Word of God and tear away the weeds that have grown up in your heart.  He will remind you of areas that are dangerous, yet respect your ability to make decisions. You will enjoy being around him, and not regret the cost of being with him.  

 

My dear PRIZE sisters,  God has a plan for your life.  Plans for good and not for evil!  (Jeremiah 29:11)  Don’t just wait patiently.  Wait and prepare.   Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour, but take heart – the Good Shepherd is faithful and will keep you safe from harm.  We are praying for you!  We love you!  YOU ARE A PRIZE!!!!  

Thank you for reading.  Please leave a comment below if this teaching has been a blessing to you.  Make sure to subscribe to this blog for more in this series.  

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4 Comments

  • I think a lot of women (especially the younger generation) should pay attention to #2. Too many females overlook the importance of the ‘hunter’/’farmer’ concept, which I hadn’t read so well described until now.
    • Hi Yona. I visited your blog today and now I want some macaroons. LOL I think it is the responsibility of married women to teach those who are looking how to discern God’s plan for them concerning marriage. When we know better, we then have the power to do better. Thanks for commenting. God bless you. We are praying for you!
  • Before we can be ready to be approached, we single women need to make sure we are sure about who we are, who we project ourselves to be, and who we want and what we want out of them. A lot of times, women have not learned to be happy with themselves, so instead of waiting for the farmer that we say we want, we fall for the Hunter. Unfortunately, after being single, and sometimes lonely for any amount of time, we begin to settle for the Hunter who has done a great job giving is the illusion that we are “the prize” when he is only in it until he the chase is over. We, as single women, need to learn how to decipher the difference between the hunter and the farmer. We also need to learn how to be “the prize”. If a man looks at a woman and he feels she is a worthy prize, then that’s usually how he will treat her. However, if he perceives her to be an “easy catch” then that’s usually how he will deal with her.
    • Thank you Christina. You make some great points. The desire to learn to be the prize keeps you from attracting prey friends and hunter guys. The internal journey is key. Praying for you! Thanks for commenting.

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