Single but… Do I Have to Get Along With Other Women?
Marrying the man of your dreams means that you will have to deal with the women attached to him. His mom, his sisters, possibly his exes… it can be difficult – especially if they have “issues”. Dealing with broken women can be a momentous task. This is what to do when God allows you to see the ugly side of the issues deal with on the inside.
- Pray. Usually when broken women deal with others, they are attempting to evoke the brokenness inside of you with their actions. Surprise the devil with the shield of faith. Even when you feel yourself going there, pull yourself under the covering of God and let the gospel manage your emotions.
- Peace. Put some time in between the event and your response. The turmoil of a situation is disturbing to the peace of God. Pull the word close and let it minister to you, instead of responding. The peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind. When that guard is not on duty God didn’t move, your heart did.
- Patience. Everything won’t be repaired in a day. You can’t expect to fix everything that was ever wrong in broken women, so just resolve to spend time in prayer for her. Refuse to hate her. Ask God to show you how to proceed. There may be a long road ahead but resolve to love in a patient manner that does not judge the situation along the way.
- Pause. If your actions are perpetuating the problem then just be still. Don’t call again. Don’t send another text. Don’t respond to the posts. Don’t exchange anymore words – just pause. Collect yourself. Remember that the silence of Christ revealed so much about His character by not sparring with words with His accusers. We have to take an example from His lead.
- Protect. When dealing with women who are projecting their issues in your direction, you must guard your heart and protect your sanity. You won’t be able to figure out exactly why they are responding this way. It’s not your job to diagnose them or figure out the broken links in the chain of events. That would drive you crazy especially if there is no rational answer for the behavior you are experiencing. Protect your heart praying for the broken areas in the woman that you can see, then ask God to heal the areas of brokenness in your own heart that you cannot see. Ask God to help you to recognize when your broken places are hurting another woman or anyone else. He can work on a surrendered heart. You can surrender yours and pray for hers.
- Preserve. If there is a friendship or there has to be a working relationship, then be diligent to preserve what is there. This is difficult. So maybe you don’t talk on the phone everyday, or maybe you don’t go out to lunch anymore. Still buy a birthday card or send something if there is a loss. Don’t let the issues of her heart change the condition of yours. Still be your beautiful, God-loving self even if she never comes around to seeing you that way. Love yourself enough to love her through it.
When women are broken they attempt to appeal to the broken woman in you. It manifests itself in unwarranted attacks, berating, belittling, jealousy, and overall instability. The Bible speaks of these things in Luke 6:45, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” When women operate from a broken place, don’t be distracted by what is coming out their mouths, be moved for prayer by what is stored up in their hearts. Every disappointment in this area is a call to prayer. It is up to the women of God to recognize it, not have hardened hearts toward the women, but rather pray for a heavenly clean up. We also have to constantly self examine to make sure that we are operating out of the good stored up, and not a self-proclaimed righteousness. Women of God are not perfect, but we take our imperfections to the king. We try not to take them out on others. Be mindful that hurt people – hurt people. Healed people help people to get healed.
Praying for you!
“Don’t let the issues of her heart change the condition of yours.” Read this http://t.co/r08AtCFPGX pic.twitter.com/Lh4shQtQFg
— Kickhellout (@Kickhellout) August 17, 2014
Please share some strategies for dealing with women who may have hurt you in the past. We love your comments.
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