Oprah recently did a special with a few high power guests about the notion of daddyless daughters. I watched the show and I was moved to tears at some of the testimonies and a few of the follow up reconcilliations.
One of the notions that struck me was that I think that a biblical aspect may have been missed. So for every daughter that may be stuck in bitterness and anger toward their dad, I would like to minister healing and reconciliation in this area from the Word.
About a year or so ago I wrote an article that was about honor. Honor is the responsibility to uphold someone or something. The Bible commands us to honor our mother and father – that the days of our life will be long.
– Choosing not to follow this command grieves the heart of God.
– We don’t get to choose our father, so must resolve to honor the one that God chose for us.
– We have to realize that there are people whose fathers are passed away. They are still a father. Whether your dad is actively fulfilling that role as you have imagined it to be or not, he is still your father. Never take that away.
-Everything you needed from your daddy, you got it from him. So even if all you got from him was dna – then God knew that would be all you would need.
– Make a decision to be thankful for what you do have and not romanticize what you don’t have.
-God has a way of shielding his daughters that are under the shadow of the almighty. His absence may have been your protection from things God never wanted your eyes to see.
-Saying that your father is dead to you or denying him is disrespectful
– If you can disobey God and not honor your father because of what you think of the job he is doing, you are heading down the road toward divorce with your spouse. When you learn how to esteem a man for the role he has been assigned in your life, then you learn from God how to show respect and honor – regardless of whether you think they deserve it or not.
One of the things I have learned about being a parent is that I do the best job I possibly can. I try to show my children love and be there for them, but I have realized that sometimes I will disappoint them. My son hates when I leave for work. My daughter gets angry that I can’t do everything she wants me to do. I will disappoint my children at times, but I thank God for the covering of the command that they will honor me because they follow Christ. I want to ask you to pray about ways to honor your father. Perhaps it is just by calling him dad. Perhaps you honor him in beginning the process to forgive him. Perhaps you honor him by making peace with him whether you have the opportunity to speak to him or not.
We sometimes don’t have a father in our lives because we have rejected him from our lives. We have dismissed him as not good enough, disappointing, unworthy. I’m not saying invite an unhealthy relationship into your life. I am saying resolve within yourself that whether the father is dead or alive, present or absent, locked up or free – that this day you will choose to serve God by honoring him. Ask God what that honor looks like – and obey.
Pray about ways to honor your father. This may be the first time you have looked at your responsibility as his child instead of judging his performance as a father. Don’t ever refer to yourself as a daddy-less daughter. You have a father! Spiritual and natural.
Today I am praying for courage for you to address the issues of your own heart instead of pointing out the inadequacies in your father’s. Today I am praying for strength that through your tears, through the years of hurt that God will reveal purpose in your pain. Today I pray for wisdom to allow God to show you areas that He would like to heal in your heart concerning your father. I pray for obedience for you to begin to honor God in honoring the father He chose for you. I pray that your own children will honor you with great joy as the Father has commanded.
Kick hell out of your relationships and do life God’s way!