Single but… Ready to Find Him (and him) (Part 4)
After posting part 2 to this series, (check it out here if you missed it) I received a question for one of my good friends. She said, ” Any suggestions on what a single woman should be doing in looking for her godly man? Since now I’m better educated on the difference.” We thought her question would be echoed by many women, so we decided to write out some action steps for single women looking for her godly man. Here we go.
1. Focus on being/becoming a godly woman.
A scripture comes to mind from the book of John: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Work on being intimately connected to Christ. What does this look like: praying daily, reading His Word daily, committing to a local body of believers, tithing time-talent-treasure, serving His people, and obeying His voice. So, when we become more than hearers of the Word and jump over into the doers of His word, then we place ourselves in better position for His will to come to pass regarding our spouse. We also place ourselves in a better position to hear from God clearly when we encounter someone who is not the one, but is trying to gain our affection.
2. Set standards rooted in the Word and ask God for strength and courage not to deviate.
This one is going to involve honest self reflection in the mirror of God’s word. Ask yourself, “In my past relationships – where did I deviate from Your will?” When we self reflect on God’s word, we are not condemned – we are convicted. Remember there is no condemnation for those in Christ. When we are in Christ He shows us areas where we need to get closer to Him and then we have a choice. We can keep doing things our way and end up with whatever results we get. Or we can choose a lifestyle connected to Him and get the results He desires for us, which are the desires of our hearts according to His will.
3. Commit to Christ
So maybe you can’t even get to the point where you can imagine a relationship without sex before marriage. Maybe you can’t fathom telling the man you are dating, “I’m a Christian that is for real about pleasing Christ.” Maybe there is some fear that you will be viewed as a weirdo or a zealot. This is where our commitment to Christ makes us different. Some men will let you know that is too much for them. That is GREAT! Do you know the heartache that saves you? Some men will know right away that the hunt is over and you will never hear from them again. Some men will do their best to push you away from your convictions – which is a sign to you that they don’t have what it takes to lead you closer, when they are attempting to push you away from Christ.
And then there will be men who agree with you. Who are on the same road with you. Who will want to pray with you. Who will admire your steadfastness. Who desire to please God as well. If you find that they are not compatible for marriage with you, then at least you can be a blessing to them by not distracting him on his road to wholeness in Christ and he can bless you by doing the same.
When the standards are the same, then the harm will be minimal. Will you be God’s woman? Will you search the Word to find yourself? Will you search the Word to find standards for your spouse? Will you put in work to prepare to be the best woman for Christ so that when your husband finds you, he truly finds a “Good thing” and not damaged goods. Searching for a godly man is more about searching in side of you than looking for him. This is your “me time” with God. Know that God placed the desire for marriage in your heart and He will accomplish what He set out to do in your heart first then in your life.
4. Answer the call to becoming a wife, by committing with fidelity to the God who created the universe.
Trust Him with your heart and watch Him heal you and prepare you for what you desire so fully. Let Him convict those areas where you have pulled away from Him. Let Him fill you with love that changes your mind, your heart, your life. Let Him direct your destiny by teaching you, directing you, and pointing you to His path.
The key to finding your godly man is bombarding the heart of God and finding Him, then finding him. Are you ready?
We love you! We are praying for you!
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If your missed the other blogs in this series check them out here: