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I Made Love Wrong


I was wondering the best way to share this.  I mean I want to say so many things, but I want to make sure its the right thing.  After all we want this blog to be a help to people and not just an airing of dirty laundry.  I gonna say it straight up.  I made love wrong.  I did it wrong and for the wrong reasons, and I’m gonna tell you two ways I made love and give you a few tips on how to do it better.

I made love a story.

 From the time I was a child I can remember falling hopelessly in love with the idea of romance.  I can remember wrapping my arms around the wooden post that supported the upstairs porch, wishing upon a star, and hoping – sometimes even praying that someday I would have someone to love me.  The only definition of love was what I derived from fairy tales.   I wanted someone to love me, someone to sweep me off my feet like the princesses on the television screen.  And so I rehearsed this fiction love. I didn’t know any of the details , but I knew that there would be dancing into the sunset, birds chirping, and a glorious happily ever after.  As I got older I felt myself chasing this idea love.  I was pursuing story book  love and often giving more than I ever wanted and just hoping – praying – wishing on a star for someone to love me back – fairy tale style.  The love that I idolized was fictitious, but I pursued it like it was real.  You know what happens when you pursue fiction in real life – disappointment.

Stop and Think:  What’s your definition of love?  Does it originate from what you’ve seen on tv?  

I made love complicated.  

Because I was chasing love without understanding what I was actually looking for, I complicated the path to experiencing love.    I placed myself in relationships that were so unusual and unadvised, but I thought love was hiding from me behind some kind of mask.  I allowed my time to be consumed by those who I was not attracted to or interested in.  I thought I had to force myself to tolerate these characters because (in my Snow White voice) one day my prince would come.  I didn’t want to miss him.   I thought I had to dig deep to find love.  The further I dug, the more I didn’t recognize that I was covered in dirt.  You can’t search for fiction and find reality.  You can’t dig in a landfill and not come up stinking.  I made love complicated by thinking I could create it from the unfavorable unlikely situations.  I don’t want you to make that mistake.

Here is the truth about love, “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  1 Cor 13: 4 – 8  Love IS NOT HIDING FROM YOU!

Stop and Think:  Have you been looking for love in the wrong places?  Have you tolerated more than you should have in the past?  

When you make love a story you make love complicated.  If you are on either of these paths, I am begging you to pause, at least for a moment and listen.  I got off these paths, but not before some incidents that left my heart bleeding and my soul wounded, but I’m going to tell you how I got free.   This series will let you in on how my mind and heart changed so that I could stop making love wrong, and find out the truth about love.

Please share your thoughts on this below by leaving a comment.  Have you made love wrong?

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